Before we begin, I must caution you that this recipe is currently classified 100% experimental. What this means is that, while it's complete, it has yet to be actually eaten and, therefore, may in fact suck. If you choose to attempt this recipe between now and the time it gets eaten and I report back, we at Food That Tastes Good absolutely disclaim any and all responsibility for any negative effects (vomiting, diarrhea, death of household pets, etc.) you may experience.

That being said...

Rotini Pasta Salad

INGREDIENTS:

1 lb rotini pasta, cooked according to package instructions
1 1/2 cup sugar
1 Tbsp. parsley flakes
1 - 2 tsp. salt
3/4 tsp pepper
1/2 cup salad/olive oil
Feta cheese crumbles (optional)
Spices/seasonings

Okay, people. I cannot stress enough to you all how vitally important it is to check your cabinets before you start cooking. Once the pasta is actually in the boiling water, it is FAR too late to realize that you do not, in fact, have any Mrs. Dash.

I bet you see where this is going already, don't you?

As I was saying:

Spices/seasoning, to wit:

Italian seasoning
Garlic powder
Lemon pepper
Sage
Onion powder
Tony Chachere's Spice & Herbs (optional)

So.
Yes, the original recipe I was using called for Mrs. Dash and celery seed. Since I had neither, I decided to make do with what I had. I looked up an ingredient list for Mrs Dash and discovered that most of what's in it is actually Italian seasoning; it apparently also has lemon peel and some other stuff in it, which is where I got really experimental. I actually used 1 tsp. each of the garlic powder (which the original recipe called for) and Italian seasoning (in place of the Mrs. Dash). Then I added (I am not kidding) a few shakes of lemon pepper, onion powder and Tony Chachere's, and a literal pinch (a small pinch) of sage.

You have to be careful with sage; it's got a pretty strong flavor, so if you aren't careful, your pasta salad could end up tasting like Mom's Thanksgiving stuffing.
So.

PREPARATION:

Put your cooked pasta in a big mixing bowl and add everything else to it. Mix really well. Cover and refrigerate. Add feta cheese crumbles before serving.

Wow, that was a hard one. Now, the original recipe I used called for the salad to be refrigerated overnight. I'm going to actually be checking mine in a couple hours when Mom gets home. At that point, I'll let you know how it is. Directly after mixing, the taste of the sugar was VERY strong, but I could also taste that bite (you know what I'm talking about), so I figure with some time to steep, the sugar flavor will probably recede. We shall see.